Pain and Scars

Luta and I watched a webinar earlier in the week on "Loving someone who is infertile." It was a talk from two ladies, one who struggled with infertility and her friend who helped her through it. One was a psychologist, and they've written a book on the subject. Mostly it was about what to say and not to say, what to do and not to do, and some of the special needs and struggles that women fighting infertility go through. One quote in particular struck me:

It's not physical or emotional pain that will scar her; it's going through that pain alone.

I think this is true of many painful situations, and part of my role as a chaplain is to help people not be as alone in the things they go through. But certain things are very hard to share, often because it doesn't seem socially acceptable to do so. Miscarriages and infertility seem to fall into that category, and therefore we have often felt alone as we have struggled through this process.

This morning on Post Secret I saw this:




I was surprised to run into such a similar sentiment so soon. And I was struck by how hard it is to bring up a secret and share it with someone, but how freeing it can be if I manage to find someone I can share with.