Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

In honor of romance on this V-Day (and being inspired by xkcd.com), I want to offer some possible interpretations of what common gifts might mean today.

Flowers: 1) They are beautiful/smell good like you, and I thought of you, so I bought them for you! 2) You make the room smell, and these smell better, so I got them for you! 3) I don't think you're very pretty OR Your house/room is ugly, these will help brighten up the place.

Chocolate: 1) You're sweet, like chocolate! 2) Our love is sappy and cliche, like chocolate on Valentine's day! 3) I haven't been paying any attention to your complaints about your weight. Hush with it already 4) I think you're anorexic, here, put on some weight.

Home-made dinner: 1) Let's avoid crowds, and be alone. We don't even need to leave the house, if you get my hint. 2) I'm too cheap to buy you dinner, even on Valentine's Day. 3) I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. 4) I forgot about Valentine's Day, and there were no reservations left anywhere by the time I remembered.

Dinner out: 1) Our love is not inspiring at all, all I could come up with is going out to dinner, which we do all the time.

Jewelry: 1) I'm hoping to buy your love with this. Did it work? No? More?

Nothing: 1) I forgot. 2) I don't really care, I'm not a romantic. 3) I'm rebelling against "made up holidays." (never mind that every holiday was made up by someone at some point, I've decided to zero in on this one with psychotic intensity.)

There you go! Hope that helps you (over)think your gifts!