Many people look at my feet, see my strange shoes, my Vibram Fivefingers, and ask "are those comfortable?"
I assume this is rhetorical, as I rarely wear uncomfortable things just for the sake of fashion. Though perhaps I am alone in this. Out of kindness, or social pressure, I answer them truthfully and simply: "Yes, I find them very comfortable!"
I'm thinking of adopting a new approach:
Actually, they are horrendous! Each toe is screaming in discomfort, and my feet hurt constantly the second I put them on. But I find the constant discomfort and pain helps keep my masochistic tendencies happy. If I wear normal, comfortable shoes, I end up hacking at myself with such self-destruction that I get admitted to psych wards. And I don't like that.
A this point I would lean in and add in a conspiratorial whisper: there are crazy people there!
Leaning back, an assuring nod and slightly raised eyebrows should assure them of my sincerity and the truth of that revelation.
And so, I would conclude, I wear these profoundly uncomfortable shoes.
No comments:
Post a Comment